Ohio, thank you for contributing to my upcoming chicken wing free diet The Buckeye State already has taken center stage now that J.D. Vance hopes to exchange the title “Ohio Senator” for “U.S. Vice President,” even if it means cozying…
The man sat in the half full subway car as the Chicago skyline whizzed by on a humid Thursday morning. Oblivious to the heat or the scenery, he was only interested in discussing his problems with the unseen and unheard…
I celebrated our nation’s birthday by taking in a ballgame at Wrigley Field, a ballpark known for its rich history, neighborhood location and, with the exception of 2016, long-suffering Chicago Cubs fans. Also, its silence. Oh, sure, Ian Happ brought…
I sat in my doctor’s office, weary from fatigue and yawning mightily as he entered. Noting my healthy color and firm handshake, he seemed perplexed. “So, what brings you here today?” he asked. “I think I’m suffering from CFS,” I…
In Atlanta last week to visit relatives, I was fortunate to witness rock-and-roll immortality, courtesy of the Rolling Stones. Just a typical night hanging out with 80-year-old men. OK, two 80-year-old men in particular: Mick Jagger, the Stones’ ageless frontman,…
It was the sound I’d been anticipating, as I began a late afternoon May stroll on a golf course somewhere in East Tennessee. Thousands of cicadas, their wings furiously rubbing together, signaling that yes, they had emerged from their nymph-like…
I yawned as I read the subject line in my inbox, this email courtesy of Jewel-Osco, my local grocery store. “We love hearing from our customers!” Like anyone who has made a recent retail purchase, be it kumquats, hemorrhoid cream…
Janine, the spin class instructor, breezed into the room, mounted her bike and greeted the already sweating class with her normal Saturday morning salutation. “Is everybody ready to WORK?” Mumbles and groans abounded. A few raised thumbs signaled that at…
The yowling started shortly after I folded myself into seat 6C on the Southwest flight from Washington, D.C., to Chicago. It was coming from 6D or, specifically, under 6D, where emotional support animals congregate. “She’s mad at me,” said the…
Don’t expect anyone to pick up your dinner check in Foley, Alabama. Nestled at the southern tip of the state served by Senators Tommy “I haven’t actually read the Constitution” Tuberville and the now infamous Katie “My kitchen has no…
“Good evening, and welcome to The Violet Lily Diamond Club. What can I get you to drink? A White Russian? Well, I could make you that, but here at VLD, we have an extensive craft cocktail menu. May I recommend…
It was somewhere around 2005. I was at the Miami airport, about to jump into a cab that would take me to Miami Beach for a corporate speaking engagement. A striking looking brunette, late 20s, asked if she could share…
There are currently 7.8 billion people roaming this earth, of which, by my own estimates, 7.7 billion are in therapy. Which explains why I cannot find a therapist. My soon-to-be ex-wife is in therapy; my kids are in therapy; my…
The January snow totals, and accompanying deep freeze, have left me with three thoughts: Global warming is still a ways off. Even while sitting in a private box and wearing a knit hat to watch her boyfriend catch passes in…
In May 2023, while in the early stages of a life change, I made the decision to live a minimalist existence, also defined as, “purge crap from my life.” Gone were most contents of a 4,400-square-foot house; kept was, well,…