Every time I purchase a new car, I always vow that, unlike my previous vehicles, I will keep this one sparkling clean. Forever. I will hand buff its exterior with paste wax weekly, never mind the shoulder and rotator cuff…
Donald Trump Jr. may soon need a new job. Actually, including “new” in that sentence may be erroneous or, “fake news,” as his dad is fond of saying. You see, I’m not sure what our president’s namesake does for a…
I arrived at the famed Wrigley Field bleachers on July 4 wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a Chicago Cubs jersey, the latter I planned to discard by the third inning. I left four hours later, the jersey spotted with mustard and reeking…
A former Chicago Tribune reporter named Kevin Pang, who is now the food editor for entertainment website The A.V. Club., recently tweeted: “Confession: When I was a critic there were 2 restaurants in Chicago so good I kept to myself &…
Shocking news out of Great Britain last week, as Prince Harry confessed nobody in the royal family wants to be king or queen. My initial response was, “Blimey,” “balderdash,” “rubbish” and other assorted words Brits use to express shock and…
Three summers ago, I refused to dump gallons of freezing cold water on my head, never mind that doing so meant I was somehow raising money to combat amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Lou Gehrig’s disease. FACT: Most of the money…
My on again, off again search for a second career has come to an end. I firmly believe I have found an ancillary vocation that will provide me steady revenue in my golden years; or at least enough disposable income…
Go ahead. Admit it. This blog post is awesome. I realize you’ve only read nine words up until now, but that should be plenty for you to categorize this column’s brilliance by using the currently most overused, and thereby most annoying,…
The infomercial actress appeared on the tiny screen attached to the treadmill as I labored through a 40-minute jog. Wearing that annoying “you must purchase this product now because, you know, operators ARE standing by” grin, the woman gleefully hawked…
I silently read the electronic response multiple times, seconds after it hit my inbox: “I will be out of the office today and will have limited or no access to email.” After receiving three identical retorts from different message recipients…