The laptop in that home school pod you eagerly set up last spring continues to hog the bandwidth you need to function at your now work-from-home job. Of course, that’s assuming you haven’t lost your job and need the bandwidth to look for another one.
For me, the quarantine began the day my wife returned from Costco, presented me with a 45-ounce container of Dunkin Donuts Medium Roast Original Blend coffee and said, “That ought to hold you.”
Had YouTube chosen July 22 to conduct “Life in a Day,” I could have wowed Macdonald with a happy birthday Facetime call I made to my 84-year-old aunt in Michigan. Yes, that was on my calendar. All by itself.
Much like first-year college students must grapple with the freshmen 15, a 15-pound weight gain typically attributed to late night pizza orders, dime beer specials and unlimited dorm cafeteria desserts, “the COVID 15” has become part of our physiques.
Since receiving it for Father’s Day many years ago, my hammock has been the source of unbridled pleasure. And naps. The hammock is that dangling carrot that awaits me after mowing my lawn in sweltering heat.
The Cambridge dictionary defines freedom as “the condition or right of being able or allowed to do, say, think, etc. whatever you want to, without being controlled or limited.” And my, oh my, are we getting good at it.
My youngest daughter is a member of the now infamous high school class of 2020; her days of carrying a lunch to school were ending this year. My wife, the chief lunch maker, and I, her faithful substitute, knew it.
2020 has already assumed its place as the worst year in modern history — even Depression-era survivors didn’t have to wear masks — so I don’t anticipate any pushback. We’ve almost made it halfway and that should be enough.
Imagine undergoing an operation and seeing not a team of medical personnel, but a lone physician staring down at you. While trying to connect to a Zoom meeting.
Several columns ago, I wrote about the need to, after 30 years, toss my resume into the job pool due to the COVID-19 pandemic. While I have yet to receive any employment offers, I have identified a new career path,…