This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune and on Medium January 23, 2018 A recent trip to what remains of my local shopping mall left me with a range of emotions, beginning with depression and ending on a euphoric high.…
This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune January 16, 2018 I’m old enough to remember when email began its ascent into mainstream communication, a phenomenon embraced by everyone who didn’t make their livelihood via the telephone industry or the…
This article originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune and on the Today Show website January 2, 2018 Thanks to retail giant Amazon, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service may want to ponder creating a new “endangered” list containing the following…
This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune Dec. 26, 2017 I have always taken great pride in my ability to avoid those enticing clickbait headlines at the bottom of my daily newsfeed. Perhaps that’s why I must plead ignorance when…
This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune December 19, 2017 I live with three women, which makes Christmas gift buying about as easy, and mystifying, as unclogging a toilet. My wife’s apparel sizes seem to alter daily, which is…
This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune on December 12, 2017 What’s on your agenda today?” my wife asked, clutching her lengthy list of to-do items that, daily, seems to grow exponentially as the Christmas holiday approaches. The fact…
This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune Dec. 5, 2017 Christmas decorations, I’ve concluded, are like politicians: At first full of promise, but, if left too long unsupervised, prone to false hopes, hidden flaws and numerous instances of substandard performance.…
This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune November 28, 2017 As the last light of the Thanksgiving holiday weekend began to fade, I found myself in my garage, contemplating a task I had been neglecting for years. I’d completed…
This article originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune November 21, 2017. Please visit and subscribe to A Comedian Crashes Your Pad on YouTube or Vimeo From any west facing window in my boyhood home, it was impossible not to see it:…
This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune November 14, 2017 Once again, it appears one of MY great ideas has been brought to fruition — by somebody who, unlike me, knows how to create an app. Was it nine years ago,…
This article originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune November 7, 2017 The Twitterverse, indeed the entire online community, was abuzz last week with news that a still unidentified rogue Twitter employee, on his or her last day of employment at the social networking giant,…
This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune Oct 31, 2017 The Schwem family has often entertained the idea of hosting a foreign exchange student for a semester or, if the student can tolerate us, an entire year. That could…
Recently I decided to refocus on learning a skill I had abandoned in frustration when I was approximately 11. Blowing bubbles. With gum, not soap. I mastered the latter when I was four. Why, you ask, at the age…
Recently I returned to my college alma mater for homecoming weekend, a chance to watch football, rekindle old friendships and, as is my passion, visit with my school’s current crop of students so I have some idea of what our…
Four years ago, I became intrigued with, and wrote about, Mars One, a space exploration project that seeks to establish a permanent human settlement on the Red Planet. Anyone can apply to be an astronaut, provided they are OK with…