Daddy Do-Over Moments with Kelly Clarkson
Several of Clarkson’s tunes reside on my workout playlist and her folksy, “Aw shucks, y’all, I’m just a country Texas girl turned country Texas millionaire” style seems totally genuine.
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Elizabeth Warren. Selfie Machine
In your case, calling the photos “selfies” is misleading, for it implies that every one of your fans held their own phones, extended their arms, took the pictures themselves, viewed them with disappointing looks and said, “Wait, can we do one more? In landscape mode?”
Parenting Advice for the World’s Oldest Mom…and Her Husband
Don’t get me wrong, having a baby is a joyous occasion. But do new parents who are well into their years of Social Security eligibility, IRA withdrawals and entry into retirement communities REALLY know what they are getting themselves int
What Ever Happened to the School Locker?
The school bully welcomed me to junior high by shoving me against a locker. In high school, I remember slipping a note into the louvers of my crush's locker, then discreetly watching from an empty classroom as she read it.
Affordable Dating May Require Wearing Cheese on Your Head
Obviously, the study is flawed for assuming a date includes a restaurant, a multiplex and alcohol. New Yorkers take heart; two subway tickets, some takeout Chinese, a candle, a blanket, a shared can of White Claw and a plot of grass in Central Park can easily be had for under $40. Unless one of you insists on bits of lobster or Kobe beef in your fried rice.
Andrew Luck and I are “Retiring” Together
My life has recently been filled with several components that no longer bring me joy; some involving injury, pain and rehab, although maybe not in a continuous cycle. Nevertheless, using Luck's logic, I am hereby announcing my retirement from the following activities:
Our Next President Must Master the Slippery Stairs
So, CNN, why not cancel the next presidential debate, build your own slide and invite all the remaining Democratic candidates and President Trump to compete? Personally, I think Pete Buttigieg would win in a landslide. Surely his training as a naval officer in Afghanistan included skills that could be resourceful in Slippery Stairs
The Rise of the Dog and the Fall of the Baby
Babies, despite your best efforts, you’re number two. Dogs are ahead of you. You may have even fallen to number three, behind Peloton classes. Deal with it.
It’s Not A Family Vacation Until You “See Them Aliens!”
“On September 20, we are going to Groom Lake in Nevada, specifically to storm Area 51,” I said. “The event is on Facebook, and I’ve already responded ‘interested.’ Along with 1.4 million others.”
Somebody Please Write Down Where I Left My Sunglasses
When it comes to items that should be equipped with a GPS, my choice would be sunglasses. And pens. Hand me either and I will make them vanish faster than any magician appearing nightly on the Las Vegas strip.
A Summer of Ice Cream Lickers and Mermaid Haters
I’ll admit, even I was grossed out by this dairy breach, which has since inspired numerous copycat incidents; and I’ve been known to open our refrigerator and swill orange juice and milk straight from the carton, much to my family’s horror.
Why I Update My Demo Reel Every Other Year…and Why Meeting Planners Should Care
A lot can happen in two years. At this time in 2017, no one had heard of #MeToo. The political climate, while still intense, had not reached the level of combustibility that exists today. Workplace political correctness has ratcheted up…
Preparing for the Rolling Stones’ “Let’s Spend our ’80s Together” Tour
I’m sure a few morbid concertgoers purchased tickets just to see if Mick Jagger, having recently undergone heart surgery, would succumb on stage. What an Instagram selfie that would make!
A Middle-Aged Dude Rents a Scooter…and Lives to Tell About It
I had seen scooters in other cities, usually out of the corner of my eye seconds before I leapt out of the way to avoid them. In Washington, D.C., a gaggle of scooters nearly ran me over outside the White House. My guess is the occupants chose our nation’s capital to demonstrate how scooters are improving the environment by reducing carbon dioxide emissions. Conversely, they are harming the environment by adding to debris on public thoroughfares, mostly in the form of injured bodies.
Forget Lemonade…Here’s What Kids Should Sell This Summer
Texas Governor Greg Abbott recently signed what he referred to as a “common sense” bill, allowing kids throughout the state to set up lemonade stands, and sell the beverage, without vendor permits or health inspections. The bill was inspired by an incident in Overton, Texas, where police did, in fact, shut down a stand run by two 8-year-old sisters. That incident occurred in 2015, in case you’re wondering how long it takes the Texas government to apply common sense.