Lately my dog has been spending a lot of time watching CNN. This is not by choice; she is not an avid cable television news viewer, although she has been known to snarl any time Don Lemon appears onscreen. Her viewing habits consist of incessant barking whenever a commercial airs featuring a dog of any…
It was kept hush-hush but several months ago, Apple CEO Tim Cook lay on an emergency room gurney, holding a compress to his head. The lump on his temple bore a stark reminder of that unfortunate treadmill mishap. A physician glanced at Cook’s chart before offering a slight smile. “You got very lucky, Mr. Cook,”…
Greg Schwem is a corporate comedian, humorous business speaker and professional host for the business world. This blog is one in an occasional series about his profession. Would you ever approach Jordan Spieth at the Masters and say, “Mind if I hit this drive for you?” Or knock on the cockpit door as the pilots…
Greg Schwem is a corporate comedian and syndicated humor columnist whose work appears weekly in the Chicago Tribune and the Huffington Post The personal trainer looked me up and down, mentally taking notes before deciding what my body could handle over a one-hour session, the first of three. “Not only will we be exercising but we’ll…
Confusion briefly reigned in the publishing world last week when reports surfaced that Penthouse magazine, a purveyor of sex and nudity for more than 50 years, would cease its print edition. Or would it? Penthouse officials quickly backtracked, saying accounts of its print demise had been exaggerated due to a poorly worded press release touting…
The party was in full swing by the time my Uber driver pulled up to the non-descript Chicago supper club on West Kinzie Street, appropriately named Untitled. I shook off the sub-zero wind chill, eventually made it through the registration line and prepared to enter the cavernous open area known as the Whiskey Room, where…
Funny comedian and top corporate comedian Greg Schwem requested a drone aircraft for Christmas and was severely disappointed
The National Retail Federation recently estimated that 2015 holiday gift card sales will reach nearly $26 billion. By my own calculations, that means the world’s 7.3 billion inhabitants will each have about $3.50 to spend on a gift of their choosing beginning December 26. But is that mountain of plastic really the panacea for those…
Together, my wife, daughters and I hung the final ornament on the tree then stepped back to admire our handwork, a tradition that also includes reflecting on those long ago, seemingly simpler times. “Remember when we used to decorate Christmas cookies before I shunned gluten?” my daughter asked. Sigh. “Remember when you girls sat on…
While viewing a daily roundup of the country’s top trending news topics, I heard a California TV reporter utter what might possibly be the biggest oxymoron of the holiday season: “Sophisticated porch pirates.” Ever since Christmas enter the cyber age, the term “porch pirates” rears its ugly head, as it refers to bands of thieves…
