I set my alarm 90 minutes before my normal wake up time. I secured my place in line two hours before the doors opened. I rehearsed, discarded and reformulated my introductory comment repeatedly. Should I open with a personal memory?…
Now that the world is slowly coming to grips with the fact that Donald J. Trump will be our next Commander N. Chief, I have a message for our nation’s television salespeople: “Be afraid. Be very afraid.” If you work…
The first accolade came as I walked from my Phoenix hotel room to the lobby in search of a Starbucks blend that wasn’t present in room 3028. “Congratulations,” a woman said, her eyes gesturing to my sternum. While in the…
My day always begins with a mug of highly caffeinated coffee, the precursor to an energetic plunge through the world’s headlines, courtesy of the websites I’ve bookmarked on my Mac. Naturally, I start with my employer, the Chicago Tribune (suck-up…
The question I posed over the phone to a relative was innocent enough: “Who are you voting for?” “Trump,” she replied, after a short pause. Perhaps the hesitancy stemmed from the fact that I didn’t phrase the question as stated…
On Sept. 26, I was one of 84 million debate viewers who spent the evening glued to the TV as our next president chided our soon-to-be most famous loser. That’s not a prediction for who will win on Nov. 8,…
Greg Schwem is a corporate comedian and business emcee who is always looking for cheap fares…in Uber and in life Just as I was embracing the idea of letting strangers drive me around in their personal vehicles while having access…
The headline caught my eye as I scrolled through The New York Times on my iPad: “How to Pick the Fastest Line at the Supermarket.” “Shop five minutes before closing,” was my immediate thought. That always works at my local…
Subscribe to corporate comedian Greg Schwem’s “News-Worthy Poetry” channel by clicking here. Monsters in My TV With apologies to Shel Silverstein One evening, with a cup of tea I sat and turned on my TV. I flipped to Channel twenty-three…
Shortly after getting married in 1993, I realized my wife would never share my passion for tennis, which continues to be my primary form of exercise if one doesn’t count lifting grocery items from my trunk after a Costco run.…