Attention professional weather prognosticators, TV meteorologists, National Hurricane Center forecasters and anyone whose number one conversation topic involves current and future atmospheric conditions. Yes, that includes this nation’s grandpas. Put away your topographic maps and disconnect your flashy “storm tracker” computer modules; your interactive radar and satellite imagery are no longer needed. The local news…
DetailsDad’s been gone over a year now. It was time to sit down with Mom and have that uncomfortable but necessary conversation about moving on. I started with simple suggestions. “How about returning to golf, Mom?” I said. “My knees are acting up. And my back. And my joints. Then there’s my vision …” OK,…
Details“Touch Mickey to Mickey,” the Disney employee instructed me, a tinge of frustration creeping into her mandatorily sunny Disney disposition. “I’m trying,” I replied, tempted to add a profanity or two before remembering that, this being Disney World, there were bound to be children nearby. Not my own, but children nonetheless. “Here, let me do…
DetailsListen up, American newborns. Okay, I realize your middle ears are still teeming with fluid and you’re only capable of responding to high-pitched voices. But in just 35 short years, you’ll be eligible to run for our nation’s highest office. If that’s something you (or your overachieving parents) desire, it’s best to begin laying the…
DetailsI normally have an excellent memory when it comes to birthdays, graduations and other special events that must be recognized via a card, a gift or, at the very least, a congratulatory Facebook post. But I owe a sincere apology to H.J. Heinz Company, having completely blown off the anniversary of one of its signature…
DetailsA professional baseball game was recently played in an empty stadium, as the home team was concerned about player and spectator safety due to civil unrest taking place just beyond the foul poles. Following the game, reaction from the participants included the adjectives”eerie,” “weird” and “different. Let me add one of my own: “Brilliant!” No…
DetailsComing soon to a theater near you: The Misadventures of Adam-Boy! No, that movie doesn’t exist yet. But the Native American cinematic community might want to consider such a film, as it may be the best way to exact payback on Adam Sandler. A group of Native American actors recently walked off the set of…
DetailsAdd “master chef” to the list of occupations that robots can perform more efficiently than humans. It’s a tally that seems to grow daily; last time I checked, it also included stock room employee, auto assembly line worker, bank teller, pharmacist and 2016 presidential candidate. At a recent German technology fair, London-based Moley Robotics unveiled…
DetailsLike any kid growing up, I relished receiving birthday invitations. A 3-by-5 card would arrive in the mail, festooned with images of cowboys, spaceships, sports equipment or whatever theme the birthday recipient had chosen. Amazingly, this continues to be the preferred method of announcing kids’ parties, as evidenced by new cards that frequently appear on…
DetailsSome people are just naturally lucky. Take Kyesha Smith Wood for instance. By now most of the country is familiar with Wood, the Alabama mom whose unsupervised kids behaved poorly in a movie theater, much to the chagrin of fellow movie patron Rebecca Boyd, sitting one row in front of them. Boyd politely tried to…
DetailsI figure it’s been about 40 years since the Easter Bunny hopped through my house with a basket addressed to me. Like Santa Claus, the floppy-eared mammal tends to focus on the 12-and-under set. But I have a message for this holiday creature, who delivers candy-filled eggs and gifts to my children each year while…
DetailsAs a frequent hotel guest, I used to look forward to flopping down on my freshly made bed, resting my head on up to four pillows and feeling, if only for one evening, that I had nestled into the lap of luxury. Now I feel as if I’m wedged under the armpit of guilt. Darn…
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