It is 8 inches high, 18 inches around, made of crystal and, in my house, as dangerous as a loaded gun. It appears each year in mid-October and does not vanish until after Easter. It occupies the space between my home office and my bathroom; I pass it at least six times a day, more…
I have a message for National Hockey League owners and players who are currently locked in yet another tussle that threatens to wipe out the entire season: Take all the time you need. The longer the strike, the more time I have to convert my wife to golf. I am a hockey husband, married…
I have always taught my children to look for the good qualities in everybody. Be nice to people, I say. It’s okay to have lots of friends, I add. If you want others to like you, you need to like them, I conclude. Facebook, however, disagrees. Just ask Itheria Hutson-Hollins, a 57-year-old, Dallas-based wedding planner…
I dialed the number with my free hand. Unfortunately, the call didn’t kick to voicemail. “Hello?” “Hello, boss. It’s Greg Schwem. I can’t come in to work today.” “What’s the problem this time, Schwem?” “I have SNOT.” “We have Kleenex in the office. I’ll put a box on your desk. See you at 8.” “No,…
Neither Mitt Romney nor President Obama have embraced corporate comedian Greg Schwem’s plan to save on grocery bills.
Ever caught a foul ball and been turned into a villain because of it? Corporate stand-up comedian Greg Schwem knows the feeling
In an age of Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and other photo sharing sites, corporate stand-up comedian and syndicated humor columnist Greg Schwem decides to have a “Photo Talk” with his daughters.
The first of many knocks occurred last week. I opened the door to see a neighborhood boy wearing a high school football jersey. “Mr. Schwem, would you like to buy a coupon book to support the Indians? They’re only $20.” I dug into my wallet and produced a bill before I even bothered perusing the book’s…
I strode into my local dry cleaner and awaited Gary, the proprietor. After a minute or so, he emerged from behind a rack of neatly pressed suits, covered in plastic bags. He was sweating profusely, just one of the downsides of working 12-hour shifts in a summer chock-full of triple-digit afternoons. “Are you picking up…
I have always fervently supported my children in their extracurricular endeavors. My only rule is that my personal health and safety not be in danger. With my eldest, now 15, this was never an issue. I felt perfectly safe sitting in the audience watching, listening and occasionally cringing as she labored through piano recitals. Ditto…
