Leaked Audio From the Final Pat Sajak Appearance
Pat Sajak is going to snap on his final episode
Category Featured
At My Bar, Dogs Will Drink for Free!
I recently attended a neighborhood art fair — the kind that springs up on city streets during warm weather months and creates pleasant chaos as artists share the block, or in this case four blocks, with longtime retail merchants. I…
If the Turkey Isn’t Perfect, Impeach the Chef!
In this country, “impeach” has become the verb of choice for anything that upsets us. A friend, recounting a story about how someone had cut him off in traffic, ended the tale by saying, “That guy should be impeached.”
User Manuals, How I Long for Your Return
Like every product sold today that requires at least an iota of setup on the owner’s part, manufacturers have elected to stop using words. In this case, all I see is a diagram of the device and a bunch of arrows pointing to various parts.
Call a Rat if You Want a Ride
I am well aware of rats' value in the medical community; their cardiovascular systems are similar to humans and, like us, they possess the uncanny ability to forage for delicious snacks in darkened kitchen pantries at 2 a.m
There’s a Large, Painful Font Trapped in my Body
I had all the classic symptoms: Back pain, followed by severe stomach pain, followed by uncontrollable retching, followed by a mad dash to the emergency room where, naturally, the pain subsided as I was handing my medical insurance card to the receptionist.
A Middle-Aged Dude Rents a Scooter…and Lives to Tell About It
I had seen scooters in other cities, usually out of the corner of my eye seconds before I leapt out of the way to avoid them. In Washington, D.C., a gaggle of scooters nearly ran me over outside the White House. My guess is the occupants chose our nation’s capital to demonstrate how scooters are improving the environment by reducing carbon dioxide emissions. Conversely, they are harming the environment by adding to debris on public thoroughfares, mostly in the form of injured bodies.
Forget Lemonade…Here’s What Kids Should Sell This Summer
Texas Governor Greg Abbott recently signed what he referred to as a “common sense” bill, allowing kids throughout the state to set up lemonade stands, and sell the beverage, without vendor permits or health inspections. The bill was inspired by an incident in Overton, Texas, where police did, in fact, shut down a stand run by two 8-year-old sisters. That incident occurred in 2015, in case you’re wondering how long it takes the Texas government to apply common sense.
Apple is Killing iTunes…and I am Freaking Out
I loaded music from bands that defined my high school and college years into iTunes. I also loaded music I was too embarrassed to admit I listened to in high school. Yes, I briefly went through a John Denver phase, followed immediately by a Molly Hatchet phase. Surprisingly, I did not take drugs in high school.
Sure, I’ll alter video…if it makes my kids look better
If I had just sped up that video of my daughter running hurdles during freshman track season, who knows? Maybe she would have received a full track and field scholarship. It would have been more realistic than superimposing her head onto the body of a famous athlete, something the parents implicated in the college admissions scandal now realize was a very bad idea.