I wish for my children to be losers. There, I said it. Quick point of clarification: I don’t want them living at home in their late 30s, unemployed, aimlessly channel surfing and looking at me when the Cheetos bag is empty. That’s what the teen years are for. But considering I just spent two hours…
It’s back to the drawing board at the Transportation Security Administration now that a 9-year-old boy has figured out how to circumvent the screening process. On October 3, the troubled youth successfully bypassed TSA security at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport and hopped a Delta flight to Las Vegas, becoming the latest chapter in a long…
A dose of humility can go a long way, particularly when you’re Bill Gates. The Microsoft co-founder and Harvard dropout recently made a startling admission during an appearance at his almost alma mater when he declared the Control+Alt+Delete function used to reboot PCs was a mistake. Okay, Gates blamed the keyboard move — which requires…
The United Airlines ticket snafu is history but I still haven’t stopped feeling sorry for myself. I continue to curse my inability to be in the right place at the right time, specifically on United’s website for 15 minutes on September 12 when fares for most domestic United flights dropped to zero, save for a…
I am so disappointed in Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel. How dare he spend a recent weekend throwing five touchdown passes, rushing for 98 yards and nearly rallying his team from a 21-point deficit against Southeastern Conference foe Alabama. I was expecting so much more, particularly after CBS Sports revealed it would train a camera…
My wife was in the midst of pouring a bottle of Guinness Stout down the drain when I entered the kitchen. A second, empty bottle was in the garbage. “What’s the matter?” I asked. “Are you cheating on me?” “Whatever gave you that idea?” “Guinness Stout is the beer most preferred by men looking to…
Over beers one recent evening, my buddy Jim innocently broached a subject that, up until the 2007 Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman movie, was rarely bantered about publicly. “What’s on your bucket list?” he asked. “I don’t keep one,” I replied. “How come?” “Maybe because I just don’t want to think about putting a timetable on things…
Growing up, my father consistently relied on the same threat when he found fault with behavior or actions that displeased him. Fists balled and facial muscles contorted, he would vigorously shake a finger in my direction and scream, “You’re looking at a one-way ticket to the moon, buster!” tossing in a few muttered obscenities for…
The elevator door opened and out stepped a middle-aged man, a teenage girl and a boy no older than 10. None were related but all shared one trait: a smartphone held inches from their nasal cavities and brows knit in extreme concentration. Had I been standing there wearing nothing but a fig leaf while holding…
Pope Francis recently completed his first international trip, a weeklong jaunt to Brazil that included adulation, spirituality and, if you were the pontiff’s chauffeur, utter embarrassment. Francis’ driver, you may have heard, took a wrong turn while transporting the pope to the Rio de Janeiro city center. Okay, Francis didn’t exactly end up in Peru–the driver merely…
