I Just Can’t Wait to be King

Shocking news out of Great Britain last week, as Prince Harry confessed nobody in the royal family wants to be king or queen. My initial response was, “Blimey,” “balderdash,” “rubbish” and other assorted words Brits use to express shock and dismay. My secondary response was, “Sign me up. I’m ready.” Suffice it to say, Harry,…

Dogs Should Be Loved, Not Squatted

Three summers ago, I refused to dump gallons of freezing cold water on my head, never mind that doing so meant I was somehow raising money to combat amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or Lou Gehrig’s disease. FACT: Most of the money raised by the Ice Bucket Challenge went to pay medical bills for participants suffering from…

Muffin Tops Belong Solely in a Bakery

The infomercial actress appeared on the tiny screen attached to the treadmill as I labored through a 40-minute jog. Wearing that annoying “you must purchase this product now because, you know, operators ARE standing by” grin, the woman gleefully hawked a line of T-shirts she claimed hid her “muffin top.” My sweaty forefinger hit the…