I thought my high school years were uneventful, but evidence to the contrary was all there; in writing. I was a drunken thief who told offensive jokes, had questionable class attendance and may have acted inappropriately with women, some of whom I can’t even recall.
What is it about that frozen dairy delight that elicits a Pavlovian response when we encounter someone else eating it or, in extreme cases, simply discussing it? When I see someone approaching me while gorging on a slice of pizza, I don’t immediately seek out the nearest pizzeria and order up one for myself. Usually, I think, “Dude, get a napkin.”
The Gosar attack ad made me realize that, if I ever throw my hat into any political ring, I will need to take a long look at my relatives. Well, first I’d have to make sure I never acted inappropriately with women at college parties. THEN I’d look at my relatives
I’ll leave my computer, as I have diligently backed up all my important files in something called “The Cloud.” I’m not sure where the cloud is but I’m told by unseen forces at Microsoft who collect $43 dollars from me every month for “cloud storage,” that my files will remain floating, or doing whatever files do in the cloud, forever.
I’m more concerned with the hygiene habits of my fellow passengers, having endured flights seated next to travelers who engaged in everything from toenail clipping, to nail polish applying, to phlegm expelling.
While seated at Oga’s, I do not plan to loudly state my political views in slurred tones, lustily eyeball another patron’s wife, or question a Sith warrior’s manhood
Refrigerators, I believe, outrank cupboards and pantries when it comes to storing items indefinitely. Over time they become a mishmash of assorted sauces, seasonings, condiments and oils, all with clearly marked, and clearly ignored, expiration dates.
The idea of having sexual trysts with another mythical creature, this one standing upright, covered in hair and otherwise known as "Sasquatch," recently went mainstream when Virginia congressional candidate Leslie Cockburn accused her Republican opponent, Denver Riggleman, of an obsession with Bigfoot erotica.
calmly explained the reasons I wanted Alex Trebek's job: namely my love of trivia and my desire to, in an increasingly dumb-downed world, meet intelligent people
Until now, obtaining a new license always meant a trip to the chaos-ridden Department of Motor Vehicles where, invariably, I get in the wrong line and must start over.