Janine, the spin class instructor, breezed into the room, mounted her bike and greeted the already sweating class with her normal Saturday morning salutation.
“Is everybody ready to WORK?”
Mumbles and groans abounded. A few raised thumbs signaled that at least some participants eagerly awaited 45 minutes of torture.
“I made an oldies playlist for today’s class, “ she said, her legs spinning faster. “Hope you all like it.”
With that, an unrecognizable, to me anyway, song blared from the speakers. Over the THUMP THUMP THUMP of an electronic bass line, I heard Janine say, “What was everybody doing back in 2012?”
“Celebrating my 49th birthday,” I yelled back. “I thought you said we were going to hear some ‘oldies.’”
“I was a high school sophomore when I first heard this one,” came a voice from the row of bikes behind me.
“This was our prom theme,” said another.
I hesitated to ask the song’s title and artist; by now, I had firmly established myself as the class’s doddering curmudgeon. How much worse could I feel?
Is Calvin Harris Considered an Oldie?
“Who is this?” I asked, while heeding Janine’s instructions to, “GIVE ME A FEW MORE GEARS!”
“Calvin Harris,” somebody yelled.
“Calvin Harris,” I repeated. “Didn’t he date Taylor Swift for a while?”
I have no idea how that piece of information escaped the recesses of my brain, but the class was impressed.”
“Very good,” one cyclist yelled, as if he were a doctor diagnosing a potential Alzheimer’s patient.
“Come on, everyone,” Janine interrupted. “We’re here to WORK!”
The class settled into the task at hand, pedaling, grunting, perspiring and, in my case, contemplating the definition of “oldie” as it relates to music. I associate the word with 1970s artists like ABBA, Three Dog Night and David Bowie. I’d add The Rolling Stones, The Eagles and Bruce Springsteen, yet all continue defying age while selling out stadiums and arenas. Last summer I saw Springsteen hold 40,000 Wrigley Field patrons in his hand. That man is not old, although I can’t say the same for his fan base.
So, how would Sir Mick Jagger, 80 years young, define an “oldies” playlist? Chocked full of tunes from Bill Haley, Pat Boone and the McGuire Sisters? If so, he should share that playlist on Spotify. My 88-year-old mother would love it, assuming she knows how to access Spotify, download a Spotify playlist and can pair Spotify with a bluetooth speaker so those sweet oldies sounds resonate through her entire unit in the independent living community.
Even Kanye Will Eventually Achieve Oldies Status
As class ended, I realized that, no matter one’s age, there will always be an “oldies” or “classic” list of tunes to satisfy a craving for nostalgia. Even tattooed-covered rappers who, in their 20s made millions rhyming about gangstas and cribs, will eventually find their music being played in the background of a party that begins at 5 p.m. and ends at 8:30.
Yeah, I’m talking to you, Gen Zers.
Right now you enjoy beginning your evenings at 10 p.m. and stumbling home with the sunrise, but that’s going to change. You, too, will arrive at that party, discuss your aches and pains, complain about your kids’ soccer schedules and compliment a fellow Gen Z partygoer on her gluten-free spinach dip. Then, as you hear Drake over the din of kitchen conversation, you’ll think, “OMG, I made out to this song in high school!”
Of course, I’m assuming this age group will actually ATTEND parties. The way the world is moving, those parties may be created by artificial intelligence. And what does one bring to an AI-generated get-together?
Music has the power to make one feel old or young. I choose the latter. A little Foreigner or Styx on my Airpods makes my knees hurt a bit less as I walk to my local grocery store. Those of you in your 20s, try it some time.
It will help prepare you for 30 years from now, when you’re in exercise class and the instructor yells, “So, what was everybody doing back in 2037?”
