Category Greg’s Blog

Call a Rat if You Want a Ride

I am well aware of rats' value in the medical community; their cardiovascular systems are similar to humans and, like us, they possess the uncanny ability to forage for delicious snacks in darkened kitchen pantries at 2 a.m

Sorry, I Won’t Thank You for Reading This Column

I've thanked police officers AFTER they've written me speeding tickets. I thanked a cineplex attendant for ripping my admission stub in half and then, without making eye contact, informing me that my movie was "the last theatre on the left." I've thanked my dry cleaner simply for finding my clothes. I once thanked my physical therapist for putting me through an hour of excruciating pain, and then charging me for it.

Elizabeth Warren. Selfie Machine

In your case, calling the photos “selfies” is misleading, for it implies that every one of your fans held their own phones, extended their arms, took the pictures themselves, viewed them with disappointing looks and said, “Wait, can we do one more? In landscape mode?”

Affordable Dating May Require Wearing Cheese on Your Head

Obviously, the study is flawed for assuming a date includes a restaurant, a multiplex and alcohol. New Yorkers take heart; two subway tickets, some takeout Chinese, a candle, a blanket, a shared can of White Claw and a plot of grass in Central Park can easily be had for under $40. Unless one of you insists on bits of lobster or Kobe beef in your fried rice.

Andrew Luck and I are “Retiring” Together

My life has recently been filled with several components that no longer bring me joy; some involving injury, pain and rehab, although maybe not in a continuous cycle. Nevertheless, using Luck's logic, I am hereby announcing my retirement from the following activities: