I’m sure a few morbid concertgoers purchased tickets just to see if Mick Jagger, having recently undergone heart surgery, would succumb on stage. What an Instagram selfie that would make!
I had seen scooters in other cities, usually out of the corner of my eye seconds before I leapt out of the way to avoid them. In Washington, D.C., a gaggle of scooters nearly ran me over outside the White House. My guess is the occupants chose our nation’s capital to demonstrate how scooters are improving the environment by reducing carbon dioxide emissions. Conversely, they are harming the environment by adding to debris on public thoroughfares, mostly in the form of injured bodies.
Texas Governor Greg Abbott recently signed what he referred to as a “common sense” bill, allowing kids throughout the state to set up lemonade stands, and sell the beverage, without vendor permits or health inspections. The bill was inspired by an incident in Overton, Texas, where police did, in fact, shut down a stand run by two 8-year-old sisters. That incident occurred in 2015, in case you’re wondering how long it takes the Texas government to apply common sense.
I loaded music from bands that defined my high school and college years into iTunes. I also loaded music I was too embarrassed to admit I listened to in high school. Yes, I briefly went through a John Denver phase, followed immediately by a Molly Hatchet phase. Surprisingly, I did not take drugs in high school.
If I had just sped up that video of my daughter running hurdles during freshman track season, who knows? Maybe she would have received a full track and field scholarship. It would have been more realistic than superimposing her head onto the body of a famous athlete, something the parents implicated in the college admissions scandal now realize was a very bad idea.
We’ve been married 25 years, and memories of our special day are a bit hazy; although, I do remember that I returned my tuxedo on time. I also remember purchasing gifts for my groomsmen but was certain we skipped the swag bag gesture.
But with the anticipation of last week’s GoT series finale generating more discussion than Ariana Grande’s dating life, and those discussions veering off in more directions than a President Trump news conference, I decided to watch the final episode. Better late than never, right?
I found myself siding with the serving community, who, for the most part, cheerfully spends their days depositing meals in front of us and then listening to us complain our salads contained arugula and we SPECIFICALLY requested it be removed, which is why I usually tack 25 percent onto my bill. Post tax.
I proceeded to inform her about “Ryan ToysReview,” a YouTube channel featuring some kid known only to his millions of subscribers as “Ryan.” It features Ryan opening toy treasures and then playing with his new gifts while his off-screen parents pepper him with questions like, “What is THAT, Ryan?”
The app is RunPee, and it has been getting boatloads of press following the release of Avengers: Endgame, a movie that grossed $1.2 billion on its opening weekend, more money than Democratic presidential candidates will raise collectively before all dropping out of the race upon realizing their fundraisers were being attended solely by close relatives.
