During the cool fall months, my house is surrounded on all sides by “pumpkin farms” (a polite term for “cash cows”). Parents, admit it: You’ve taken your kids to one. The public pools were drained on Labor Day, yet you…
For most of my adult life I have been searching for that perfect verbal defense. A go-to excuse that, once uttered, abruptly ends the conversation, forcing all divergent parties into silence or, even better, agreement. I discovered it the night…
My 53rd birthday celebration nearly complete, I unwrapped the final package as my wife and daughters looked on. I had asked for only one gift and now there it sat, ready for deployment. The NutriBullet Pro. More than just a…
I waited patiently on hold while my scheduled 9:30 a.m. radio interview became 9:35, then 9:40. Finally, Cincinnati radio host Kathryn Raaker’s producer interrupted the silence. “Kathryn is just finishing up with another guest,” she said. “Then you’re on.” At…
Our nation’s scandals are beginning to sound markedly similar, not in the fallout or the parties involved, but in the suffix attached to them: “Gate.” Let’s see, with football season upon us, the New England Patriots continue to play under…
As the self-appointed spokesman for all dads who recently sent their first born off to college, I have a message for whoever is in charge of university rankings: Please stop. Our kids are now firmly entrenched in their dorm rooms;…
In the spirit of worldwide collaboration, I am imploring McDonald’s to reconsider the “McWhopper” overture. By way of full page ads in The New York Times and Chicago Tribune, Burger King recently floated the idea of merging the ingredients in…
Corporate humorist and author Greg Schwem is so excited to finally have Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos' email address
Before the next Republican presidential debate, I suggest the sponsors hop a plane to London and share a beer with Matthew Kempton. In late 2014, the 34-year-old app developer, together with his partners James Mitchell and Tom Ollerton, created 3UP,…
It’s high time we returned to a more primitive, cheaper and safer method of swapping sensitive information: the Post-it Note. Originally, I thought of reverting to the “double swear” method as in, “Double swear that you’ll never tell anyone I…