I sat on my living room floor, surrounded by an assortment of cables, screws, dowels and pressed wood shelves that would eventually form the printer stand I ordered online. I had one profanity-free thought. “Time to move to Georgia.” Recently…
It has always been my fantasy to enter a bar and announce that I will buy a drink for every patron. Most likely, this will only take place if I match all six Powerball numbers. However, after watching last weekend’s…
The thought immediately crossed my mind as I took my seat in the left field stands of Atlanta’s Truist Park, an area dubbed “Home Run Porch.” “I’d better be ready to catch a ball.” I was in the Peach State…
Recently I underwent an MRI after my podiatrist, aka my “feet doctor,” suspected an Achilles tear in my right foot. The procedure confirmed his suspicions; I did indeed have a “tiny low-grade partial-thickness interstitial tear at the calcaneal attachment with…
Awakening one morning and realizing Chicago would be sweltering through another day of triple digit heat indexes, I blurted my thoughts out loud. “This humidity is killing me!” Luckily there wasn’t a more grammatically versed individual around to suggest I…
By now anybody with a social media presence, even MySpace, is familiar with Andy Byron. During a Coldplay concert in Massachusetts, the former CEO of New York-based tech firm Astronomer was caught on a “kiss-cam” canoodling with a woman who…
I live in a Chicago neighborhood teeming with residents born between 1997 and 2012. That’s a very formal way to say I’m surrounded by the Gen Z set. They are easy to spot — bounding along the sidewalks with yoga mats…
This column originally appeared as part of the Chicago Tribune syndicate Humor Hotel series The fish measured 35.7 inches from the snout to the tip of its tail. We caught it in the Chippewa Flowage, 15 miles east of Hayward,…
I need some new pals. Some new buddies. Some new friendships. Maybe it’s time to reach out to Mark Zuckerberg. I don’t mean I’m going to email zuck@meta.com or try other address variations, hoping I at least get an “I’m…
How to ruin your upcoming summer vacation in two words? That’s easy: rental car. Allow me to walk you through the most frustrating, time-wasting, price-gouging start to what was supposed to be a week of hard-earned R&R. Come along for…