Mom and I were talking the other day about the common problems facing this country’s aging population: inactivity, loneliness, occasional bouts of depression. I sympathize, and wish I had a suggestion to solve the tribulations that, sadly, plague a good portion of senior citizens. This time, however, I may have a found an answer.
“‘Fortnite,’” I said. Anticipating her look of bewilderment, I added, “It’s a video game.”
She replied, “You’re telling your 82-year-old mother she should start playing video games? I can’t even work Netflix.”
Hear me out, seniors. Imagine engaging in an activity that stimulates dexterity; that keeps your minds sharp by forcing you to make a multitude of snap decisions; that introduces you to strangers who, in minutes, become teammates as you work toward a common goal.
And the best part for those on fixed incomes? It’s all free.
You own an Xbox One or a PlayStation 4, right? OK, I’m guessing you don’t. But you can still play “Fortnite” on a Mac or a PC, if it’s not one of those slow clunkers your kids gave you because they just purchased a computer that actually runs stuff and, “Mom, Dad, this one should be perfect for you because all you do is word process, right?”
So, it’s free. Even if you want some really cool gliders. Or harvesting tools. Or legendary weapons. Just build up your V-bucks and shop away! But we can discuss that later. A Battle Royale awaits you.
First, a little “Fortnite” background. Everybody is playing it. Your grandkids are playing it. Your son may be playing it, particularly if he is unemployed or, to quote his LinkedIn profile, “seeking new opportunities.” Tyler Blevins, a suburban Chicago dude who calls himself Ninja, reportedly makes $500,000 a MONTH playing it. Nobody pays him to play it, but lots of people donate money to his streaming gaming channel so they can become better at it. My point is, “Fortnite” has the potential to become a more lucrative income stream than cover-the-card Bingo.
Seniors, if you play “Fortnite Battle Royale,” you can play with, rather against, up to 99 other participants. Or form your own squad and play together. Of course, that requires headsets for communication and those cost money; although you should be able to find some affordable used models on eBay. My 12-year-old nephew tells me the headsets are awesome so you can talk to your friends as you try and collect rocket-propelled grenades (or RPGs). You’ll figure out the lingo eventually.
Column space precludes me from explaining all the rules of “Fortnite.” In a nutshell, you and your Mahjong friends will parachute into a game play area and then confront, and kill, other players in an ever-shrinking Safe Zone. Gather various weapons along the way, and collect resources that allow you to build forts for protection.
With me so far? If not, you can always view countless YouTube videos featuring “experts” who narrate their game play. I recently watched a guy who calls himself Cizzorz run into the Safe Zone while keeping track of his kill numbers, punctuated by shrieks of “Ooh baby” and “Let’s go, let’s go!” Occasionally the video was interrupted by a 5-second ad for Entresto, a drug used to combat chronic heart failure. Seniors, what more proof do you need that “Fortnite” is just the activity you’re looking for?
The game ends when either you die — in the game, not in real life — or you are the last player remaining. Achieving the latter means you killed up to 99 other participants with an assortment of shotguns, crossbows, sniper rifles and the RPGs that make guys like Cizzorz salivate. Feel free to tout your accomplishments in various “Fortnite” chat rooms.
So, retirees, put down those shuffleboard sticks and pick up your game controllers. Yes, “Fortnite” might be a tad more difficult to master than “Words with Friends” or Facebook, but imagine how cool you’ll be when your grandkids visit for the weekend? Instead of announcing you are taking them to the park, say you’re headed to Retail Row.
You’ll thank me later.
