This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune May 7, 2019
I was talking with my soon-to-be-a-college-graduate daughter about her career plans. Like many grads, she is not 100 percent sure of what her future holds, job wise. I offered a suggestion.
“Unboxing stuff,” I said.
“Unboxing?” she replied. “Stuff?” she added, turning a suggestion into not one but two questions.
“Absolutely,” I replied. “You take a box of stuff, open it and reveal its contents, all while commenting on what you’re doing. Oh, yeah, and you have to record the whole ‘unboxing’ thing on your iPhone, so you can upload it to YouTube and Instagram.”
“So, when I move back home, I’ll just unbox all the stuff from my college apartment and film it?” she asked.
“No, not your existing stuff. New stuff. Like Ryan.”
“Who’s Ryan?”
I proceeded to inform her about “Ryan ToysReview,” a YouTube channel featuring some kid known only to his millions of subscribers as “Ryan.” It features Ryan opening toy treasures and then playing with his new gifts while his off-screen parents pepper him with questions like, “What is THAT, Ryan?”
Forbes Magazine estimated Ryan’s channel generated $22 million last year, ensuring Ryan, in the foreseeable future, can walk into any toy store and shop to his little heart’s content without first asking his parents what things cost.
Ryan is 7, by the way.
“So that’s all there is to it,” I told my daughter. “We just have to convert the basement into a photography studio, which shouldn’t take long. You keep all your unopened stuff down there, and, when it’s time to record, I’ll make sure the dog doesn’t bark. Deal?”
“I dunno, Dad,” she said. “What would I review?”
“Whatever you feel you’re knowledgeable about,” I replied. “You’ve been in college for four years. What were you most passionate about while you were there?”
“Tito’s Vodka,” she said, before quickly adding, “I’m kidding.”
“Hang on,” I said, whipping out my phone and pulling up Google. “There just might be a market for that.”
I glanced intently at my phone, waiting for the search results.
“Just as I thought,” I said triumphantly. I just Googled ‘Unboxing Tito’s Vodka’ and got exactly zero hits. “Let’s make that your first video.”
“That’s stupid,” she replied. “Who is going to watch me unbox a bottle of something? And what would I say? ‘Hey, look, it has a cap on it. If you unscrew it, turn it upside down and place a glass underneath the bottle, it goes great with orange juice.”
I then explained how 1.4 million people watched Ryan and his father unbox and build a Yamaha Grizzly 700 all-terrain vehicle. The video ended with Ryan driving the vehicle into a fence before touting his new show, Ryan’s Mystery Playdate, on Nickelodeon.
“Just don’t be operating machinery when you are unboxing the vodka, and you should be fine,” I said.
“Dad, I’m not sure I want ‘unboxer’ on my resume.”
“If this takes off, you won’t be an ‘unboxer’ for long,” I said. “You’ll be an ‘influencer.’ Like Lori Loughlin‘s daughter, Olivia Jade.”
“The one who got into the University of Southern California because her parents passed her off as an athletic recruit?” she asked.
“Allegedly,” I said. “Let’s not rush to judgement.”
“Why did you wink at me when you said that?”
“Cosmetics companies actually paid her to unbox and talk about makeup,” I said. “That could be you.”
“Dad, I have a degree in Human Physiology,” my daughter reminded me. “Don’t you want me to use that?”
“Sure,” I replied. “If that’s what you want to do, I’m all in. But think about ‘Vodka Unboxer and Influencer’ as a backup.
“I think you just want the vodka after I review it,” she said.
Wow, that kid really did get smarter in college.
