The National Retail Federation recently estimated that 2015 holiday gift card sales will reach nearly $26 billion. By my own calculations, that means the world’s 7.3 billion inhabitants will each have about $3.50 to spend on a gift of their choosing beginning December 26.
But is that mountain of plastic really the panacea for those hard-to-buy-for individuals? Yes, the Nordstrom gift card will elicit squeals of delight from a recipient who shops there on a regular basis. But considering that nearly EVERY retail establishment has jumped into the gift card fray, there’s a good chance you may end up with a clunker of a card come Christmas morning. Seriously, who really gets excited about redeeming a Jiffy Lube gift card, no matter the denomination?
Which is why, after all the gift card tins have been opened and their contents revealed, I suggest everyone spice up those post-Christmas morning “now-what-do-we-do?” hours by adding a little competition and gambling to the holiday. Everybody, head to the kitchen table for a spirited Christmas afternoon spent playing today’s most popular card games. The twist? Instead of a standard 52-card deck, you are playing with only the gift cards you received. Choose from one or more of the following games:
Old Maid: Players try and form matching gift card pairs by drawing from each other’s hands. The loser, for obvious reasons, is the player holding the Chipotle gift card at game’s end.
Crazy Amazon Eights: Players each receive eight gift cards. (NOTE: Families too lazy to shop for each other should have no problem accumulating eight cards per player.) The top gift card is placed face up on the table. Players take turns discarding by playing an identical gift card or one within the same family. A Starbucks card may be played on top of a Dunkin Donuts card, which may be played on top of a Seattle’s Best Coffee card, etc. Amazon gift cards are “wild” since Amazon sells everything, coffee included.
Pass the Trash: A great way to get rid of unwanted gift cards. All cards are placed in the center of the table and assigned rankings by the participants, with valuable cards achieving high rank. iTunes cards are typically worth 10 points, while Bass Pro Shop cards usually garner a ranking of .000001. After dealing all cards, players pass three cards to the player on their left, followed by two cards and then one card. Points are tallied. The winner gleefully leaves the table immediately and goes shopping. The loser ponders when he or she will redeem the gift card from the local Sherwin-Williams paint store.
Gift Card Hold ’em: Like its sister game, Texas Hold ’em, the game is played with a flop, a turn and a river of gift cards as players try and assemble their best hands. The skilled Gift Card Hold ’em player is adept at reading his or her opponent’s hole cards by studying facial expressions, body language and betting habits. A player who consistently raises was most likely dealt a pair of Target cards face down. (RULES CLARIFICATION: A pair of Target cards always, repeat ALWAYS, beats a pair of Wal-Mart cards. A flush consists of five cards from stores in the same mall).
Gift Card Strip Poker: This game is played with a standard deck and it’s not as creepy as it sounds. Players begin the game by wearing all the ugly, ill-fitting clothes they received in lieu of gift cards. At the end of each round, the player with the best poker hand sheds an article of clothing and places it in a large cardboard box labeled, “RETURNS.” Yes, by game’s end, all players are naked or nearly naked but that’s still better than wearing those corduroys Grandma purchased from the sale rack at Marshall’s. Every discarded clothing item may be exchanged for a gift card from another player’s collection.
Merry Christmas and Happy Redeeming.
