Redbox, you owe me $1.20. Make it easy on yourself and pay up. Now. Credit my Visa, ceremoniously present me with an oversized cardboard check or instruct a UPS driver to toss 120 pennies on my front lawn. I rented…
Before heading out the door, I gave my wife a goodbye kiss. Rather than reciprocate, she recoiled. “Ouch. Would you please shave?” “Can’t do that, honey,” I replied. “Not until the end of Movember.” “You mean NO-vember. Your lip hair…
My kids’ Halloween candy had barely gone stale before the first Christmas controversy roared into town, innocently enough in the form of a Hallmark ornament. The greeting card giant, you may have heard, received flak for trying to be tooooo…
Congratulations! You have successfully logged on to healthcare.gov, the official website of the Affordable Care Act. When all the site’s glitches are fixed, hopefully by Nov. 30 (year unknown), the act will revert to being called “Obamacare.” Until then, it’s the Affordable…
I wish for my children to be losers. There, I said it. Quick point of clarification: I don’t want them living at home in their late 30s, unemployed, aimlessly channel surfing and looking at me when the Cheetos bag is…
It’s back to the drawing board at the Transportation Security Administration now that a 9-year-old boy has figured out how to circumvent the screening process. On October 3, the troubled youth successfully bypassed TSA security at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport…
A dose of humility can go a long way, particularly when you’re Bill Gates. The Microsoft co-founder and Harvard dropout recently made a startling admission during an appearance at his almost alma mater when he declared the Control+Alt+Delete function used…
The United Airlines ticket snafu is history but I still haven’t stopped feeling sorry for myself. I continue to curse my inability to be in the right place at the right time, specifically on United’s website for 15 minutes on…
I am so disappointed in Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel. How dare he spend a recent weekend throwing five touchdown passes, rushing for 98 yards and nearly rallying his team from a 21-point deficit against Southeastern Conference foe Alabama. I…
My wife was in the midst of pouring a bottle of Guinness Stout down the drain when I entered the kitchen. A second, empty bottle was in the garbage. “What’s the matter?” I asked. “Are you cheating on me?” “Whatever…