Celebrity Apprentice fans, don’t despair. Yes, your favorite show might be on hiatus now that NBC has severed its relationship with Donald Trump. But, should the apocalypse occur and The Donald becomes our nation’s 45th chief executive, expect to see the program return … to the White House. This seems like a natural move…
I think I’ve been duped by the Discovery Channel. Maybe Steven Spielberg too. I was one of the millions that helped give the cable network’s recently completed Shark Week ferocious ratings. I spent the week wondering if my lifelong dream to retire to an oceanfront condo was a good idea after watching, among other offerings, Super Predatorr…
Phil Lesh and Bob Weir, stop unpacking. Mickey Hart and Bill Kreutzmann, put your instruments back on the truck. Cease counting the millions you made from your supposedly final Grateful Dead shows in Chicago this past weekend. You have one more concert to play. And, this time, I will most definitely be dancing among the…
When it comes to trust, I sympathize with Brian Williams. The former NBC anchor has been on a whirlwind tour of late, apologizing to every living organism except his houseplants and vowing to never again insist he was present when the Declaration of Independence was signed. Critics reporting on Williams’ fall consistently reference statistics…
I took up cycling several years ago after reading multiple scientific studies concluding that the simple act of repetitive clockwise leg movement while hunched over and struggling to breathe (my definition of cycling) improves memory and concentration while reducing stress and anxiety. This being science, researchers no doubt spent astronomical hours and federal grant monies…
Attention professional weather prognosticators, TV meteorologists, National Hurricane Center forecasters and anyone whose number one conversation topic involves current and future atmospheric conditions. Yes, that includes this nation’s grandpas. Put away your topographic maps and disconnect your flashy “storm tracker” computer modules; your interactive radar and satellite imagery are no longer needed. The local news…
Dad’s been gone over a year now. It was time to sit down with Mom and have that uncomfortable but necessary conversation about moving on. I started with simple suggestions. “How about returning to golf, Mom?” I said. “My knees are acting up. And my back. And my joints. Then there’s my vision …” OK,…
“Touch Mickey to Mickey,” the Disney employee instructed me, a tinge of frustration creeping into her mandatorily sunny Disney disposition. “I’m trying,” I replied, tempted to add a profanity or two before remembering that, this being Disney World, there were bound to be children nearby. Not my own, but children nonetheless. “Here, let me do…
Listen up, American newborns. Okay, I realize your middle ears are still teeming with fluid and you’re only capable of responding to high-pitched voices. But in just 35 short years, you’ll be eligible to run for our nation’s highest office. If that’s something you (or your overachieving parents) desire, it’s best to begin laying the…
I normally have an excellent memory when it comes to birthdays, graduations and other special events that must be recognized via a card, a gift or, at the very least, a congratulatory Facebook post. But I owe a sincere apology to H.J. Heinz Company, having completely blown off the anniversary of one of its signature…
