My wife was scrubbing what remained of the Easter dishes when I approached from behind, spun her around and planted a kiss on her lips. “Why thank you,” she said. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” I said nothing but continued the facial romance, tightening my grip as she tried to pull away. After…
DetailsTHIS COLUMN ORIGINALLY APPEARED IN THE HUFFINGTON POST APRIL 3, 2013 Osama bin Laden is dead, right? The Navy SEALS took care of him. Didn’t they? I’m asking only because conflicting accounts are emerging as to how bin Laden died. Not that any of this should matter because, after all, he is no longer alive. When President…
DetailsI still vividly recall my mother’s parting words every time a childhood friend invited me over for a meal: “Always say please.” “Remember to say thank you.” “Under no circumstances, ever say, “I don’t like.’” “But what if Steve’s mom serves asparagus? Or Brussels sprouts?” I would ask. “Doesn’t matter,” she invariably replied. “Saying ‘I don’t like’…
DetailsTHIS COLUMN ORIGINALLY APPEARED IN THE HUFFINGTON POST MARCH 27, 2013 Whoa, just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse at The Today Show, along comes Joe Hagan and his no-holds-barred New York Magazine profile of the program and its current “family.” And I thought the Honey Boo Boo clan was dysfunctional. In spite of Hagan’s observation…
DetailsI applaud Chicago attorney Chris Connors’ recent decision to donate the Internet domain name popefrancis.com to the new pontiff. While it’s not clear if church officials will accept Connors’ offer, they have said the pope will most definitely have a website and are currently considering design options. I’m glad to hear Francis is aware of the powers of online…
DetailsI begin this week’s column with a philosophical question: If snow causes schools to be closed while the Internet is functional, it is still a snow day? I pondered this last week when the phone rang at 5:45 a.m., never a good sign as it usually signals something unpleasant is currently happening. So I hesitated to…
DetailsI am a fervent March Madness viewer but am dreading this year’s NCAA basketball tournament for I fear the spectacle will be stained with controversy. I’m making my prediction based on the fact that the first two months of this year saw major scandals courtesy of the sporting world. January dawned with Lance Armstrong admitting…
DetailsI recently returned from Las Vegas, a city that seems determined to punish nongamblers such as myself by charging exorbitant rates for everyday items. Among my transactions during a three-day visit: $7 for a Diet Pepsi, $8 for a Bud Light and $30 for a visit to the hotel gym. During the trip, I ran out of dental floss but neglected to…
DetailsShe sat at the bar, calmly texting while nursing a glass of merlot. I tepidly approached the empty stool next to her. “Excuse me,” I said, my gaze traveling from her eyes downward. “Not interested pal,” she replied curtly. “May I just touch it for a moment? Better yet, can I hold it?” “I have…
Details“Where’s the remote?” I screamed at nobody in particular one recent Saturday. College basketball was about to start and I was determined to catch the entire game, as opposed to spending the first few minutes shoving my hands into our furniture’s every crevasse before actually locating the electronic lifeline to my flat screen. My wife…
DetailsI sat at the crowded bar, a full glass of cabernet sauvignon in front of me. The proprietor acted as if I were his only customer. I subtly glanced at the patrons around me, trying to mimic them by sticking my nose far into the glass and inhaling deeply. I pinched the glass stem and…
DetailsSeveral years ago, I went to Tokyo where I got a taste of the Japanese subway system. I say “taste” because my lips were literally pressed to a stranger’s, so congested were the cars. No matter the time of day, the ride went like this: The train lumbered to a stop where hundreds waited to board…
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