I have come to the realization that my days of being first at anything have long passed. I no longer run races, so “first across the finish line” is out. I have no desire to sleep outside my local Best Buy, hoping to get the first video game cell phone or DVD release. And I don’t…
DetailsTHIS COLUMN ORIGINALLY APPEARED IN THE HUFFINGTON POST 12-10-13 Sometimes holiday gift ideas hit you at the strangest moments; in my case, it was during the recently televised American Music Awards. There I was in my recliner, half-watching the show with my family, one finger anxiously hovering over the remote’s mute button in anticipation of…
DetailsI am a purist at holiday time. That means I always have the final say when choosing the family Christmas tree, always carve the holiday bird and always stand on a rickety ladder while hanging lights from front yard trees as neighbors watch from their windows and, via text messages, place bets on the duration…
DetailsRedbox, you owe me $1.20. Make it easy on yourself and pay up. Now. Credit my Visa, ceremoniously present me with an oversized cardboard check or instruct a UPS driver to toss 120 pennies on my front lawn. I rented a movie from your kiosk but left empty-handed. Ever purchased a Snickers from a vending…
DetailsBefore heading out the door, I gave my wife a goodbye kiss. Rather than reciprocate, she recoiled. “Ouch. Would you please shave?” “Can’t do that, honey,” I replied. “Not until the end of Movember.” “You mean NO-vember. Your lip hair is affecting your speech.” I corrected her correction. “Movember. It’s a campaign to raise awareness…
DetailsMy kids’ Halloween candy had barely gone stale before the first Christmas controversy roared into town, innocently enough in the form of a Hallmark ornament. The greeting card giant, you may have heard, received flak for trying to be tooooo politically correct, hence its idea to change the lyrics of a certain Christmas carol before…
DetailsCongratulations! You have successfully logged on to healthcare.gov, the official website of the Affordable Care Act. When all the site’s glitches are fixed, hopefully by Nov. 30 (year unknown), the act will revert to being called “Obamacare.” Until then, it’s the Affordable Care Act. Or, if technical difficulties worsen, “Boehnercare.” Got that? Let’s begin. To better understand…
DetailsI wish for my children to be losers. There, I said it. Quick point of clarification: I don’t want them living at home in their late 30s, unemployed, aimlessly channel surfing and looking at me when the Cheetos bag is empty. That’s what the teen years are for. But considering I just spent two hours…
DetailsNow that the federal government has reopened, the nation’s bills are being paid and everybody in Washington is making nice until January 15 when America may run out of money again, it’s nice to know some politicians can still work together and serve their constituents’ best interests. Take Montana for instance, one of only four…
DetailsIt’s back to the drawing board at the Transportation Security Administration now that a 9-year-old boy has figured out how to circumvent the screening process. On October 3, the troubled youth successfully bypassed TSA security at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport and hopped a Delta flight to Las Vegas, becoming the latest chapter in a long…
DetailsA dose of humility can go a long way, particularly when you’re Bill Gates. The Microsoft co-founder and Harvard dropout recently made a startling admission during an appearance at his almost alma mater when he declared the Control+Alt+Delete function used to reboot PCs was a mistake. Okay, Gates blamed the keyboard move — which requires…
DetailsThe United Airlines ticket snafu is history but I still haven’t stopped feeling sorry for myself. I continue to curse my inability to be in the right place at the right time, specifically on United’s website for 15 minutes on September 12 when fares for most domestic United flights dropped to zero, save for a…
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