I am tired of having my heart broken online. That is not the statement of a jilted Match.com individual, for I have never explored Internet dating and therefore don’t know what it’s like to be dumped mid-chat or have a potential relationship snuffed out because the object of my cyber-affection unexpectedly logged off. (I don’t…
DetailsDoes anybody in Alaska own a video camera? How about a video-equipped cell phone? Anyone? Anyone? I ask only because it’s been weeks and I have yet to see visual evidence of the alleged Palin family party brawl that occurred earlier this month. To all Alaska residents who attended that party, why didn’t anybody record…
DetailsI slowly dialed the FBI field office in Chicago and listened to the numerous voice prompts. Not sure what to press, I eventually chose ‘3’ since I am a media representative. A female agent answered. “Who would I speak to if, uh, compromising material was stolen from my phone?” I asked. “Let me check with…
DetailsLegendary football coach Vince Lombardi once uttered the phrase, “The best defense is a good offense.” I plan to turn those words into action the next time I fly coach class. By now everybody is familiar with the escalating brouhaha over personal space when flying. The skies seemed reasonably friendly until August 24, aboard United…
DetailsAs the summer winds down and my stomach thanks me for my generosity during three months of barbecues, graduation parties and neighborhood festivals, I am still proud of myself for shunning a food group that has burst into the culinary world and refuses to leave. Portmanteau food. Quick English lesson: A portmanteau is two words…
DetailsWRITER’S NOTE: This column was written after a summer spent traveling the country and watching random morning news shows. The writer vows never to do that again. “Rise and shine. This is The Morning News Zoo. I’m Barry O’Brien.” “And I’m co-anchor Teri Sullivan.” “We’ve got Gerry in the weather center…” “Oooh, today’s going to…
DetailsWhen it comes to international relations, I’ve always preferred to sit on the sidelines and let experienced politicians like John Kerry and Hillary Clinton negotiate with everyone from Israeli military leaders to Venezuelan dictators. No more. This time I’m taking matters into my own hands and dealing directly with the Russians, specifically the crime ring…
DetailsLast week I briefly stood outside the gates of one of the year’s biggest music festivals, wrestling with my age. As the Chicago skyline shone directly to my west, thousands of teens and 20-somethings wearing plastic wristbands streamed past me. Some waved open purses and backpacks in my direction, assuming I was there to inspect both.…
DetailsMy kids’ current favorite show is Shark Tank, where budding entrepreneurs pitch ideas to a team of corporate tycoons who double as potential investors. While listening to concepts for, among other things, collapsible kayaks and colored fur spray for dogs, my daughters vigorously interrogate the television. “What are your yearly sales?” they ask, before Dallas Mavericks…
DetailsThe property market in Brazil appears to be heating up and, mark my words, I plan to dive in with the zeal of seasoned real estate pros like Donald Trump or that Barbara woman from Shark Tank. At issue is what to do with 12 soccer stadiums that were either built or refurbished specifically to host…
DetailsIt’s time to stop trashing this nation’s crop of college graduates for not knowing common facts — the name of the U.S. Supreme Court’s chief justice for example — and start applauding them for what they did learn after four years of academia. Specifically, how to master a rock climbing wall. I say this after…
DetailsUntil recently, I didn’t know it was possible to talk to God via voice prompts. Now I’m not so sure. My religious epiphany occurred in the midst of trying to locate the concierge at the Grand Wailea hotel, a Maui vacation destination that will play host to my family later this month. I had heard…
Details
