All I Wanted for Christmas Was a Drone
Funny comedian and top corporate comedian Greg Schwem requested a drone aircraft for Christmas and was severely disappointed
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Gift Card Strip Poker and Other Post-Holiday Games
The National Retail Federation recently estimated that 2015 holiday gift card sales will reach nearly $26 billion. By my own calculations, that means the world’s 7.3 billion inhabitants will each have about $3.50 to spend on a gift of their choosing beginning December 26. But is that mountain of plastic really the panacea for those…
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My Emoji Tolerance Has Reached Its (insert red flame here) Point!
Together, my wife, daughters and I hung the final ornament on the tree then stepped back to admire our handwork, a tradition that also includes reflecting on those long ago, seemingly simpler times. “Remember when we used to decorate Christmas cookies before I shunned gluten?” my daughter asked. Sigh. “Remember when you girls sat on…
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Move Along, Porch Pirates; Nothing Worth Stealing Here
While viewing a daily roundup of the country’s top trending news topics, I heard a California TV reporter utter what might possibly be the biggest oxymoron of the holiday season: “Sophisticated porch pirates.” Ever since Christmas enter the cyber age, the term “porch pirates” rears its ugly head, as it refers to bands of thieves…
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Please Set my Hygiene to Auto Renew
There seems to be a growing army of online businesses convinced that I am neglecting my personal hygiene. But with the help of UPS and other package delivery services, my woes will soon be over. First it was Dollar Shave Club, an online razor blade home delivery service known not just for its products but…
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Everybody’s Gone Gluten Free, Now There’s Nothing to Eat
The pasta has suddenly turned inky in color and is chocked full of organic black beans; quinoa is ever present at my dinner table and every item in the pantry contains one or more of the following words: earthy, earthiness or earth-some. This is what occurs when your teenage daughter goes gluten free, joining the…
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Google Creates Smart Replies for Dumb Emails
The helpful folks at Google are at it again, determined to automate every daily task so that mankind will one day wake up and immediately go back to bed upon realizing there is nothing for it to do. Having nearly mastered the driverless car — statistics show Google road rage incidents are down markedly —…
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Juice Boxes and Other Incentives for the 2016 Cubs
Faster than you can say “dropped third strike,” the Chicago Cubs transformed themselves from World Series contenders to “rebuilders.” Or, baseball speak for, “we must get rid of a few guys.” I’m not privy to how many stacks of hundred dollar bills the Ricketts family has in its Wrigley Field suite. Nor am I skilled…
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“Gourd” Your Wallet With Your Life This Halloween
During the cool fall months, my house is surrounded on all sides by “pumpkin farms” (a polite term for “cash cows”). Parents, admit it: You’ve taken your kids to one. The public pools were drained on Labor Day, yet you still seek outdoor activities. Especially those of you who live in cold weather climates and…
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In My Defense, The Cubs Are On
For most of my adult life I have been searching for that perfect verbal defense. A go-to excuse that, once uttered, abruptly ends the conversation, forcing all divergent parties into silence or, even better, agreement. I discovered it the night of October 1. Four simple words that I hope to use up until November 4…
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Death March of the Trendy Food Appliances
My 53rd birthday celebration nearly complete, I unwrapped the final package as my wife and daughters looked on. I had asked for only one gift and now there it sat, ready for deployment. The NutriBullet Pro. More than just a blender, the NutriBullet is, according to its website, “the ideal tool for health-conscious individuals looking…
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Here’s What I Would Say to 10 Ministers
I waited patiently on hold while my scheduled 9:30 a.m. radio interview became 9:35, then 9:40. Finally, Cincinnati radio host Kathryn Raaker’s producer interrupted the silence. “Kathryn is just finishing up with another guest,” she said. “Then you’re on.” At 9:47 a.m. Raaker introduced me to her listening audience, briefly mentioned the book I was…
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