It was kept hush-hush but several months ago, Apple CEO Tim Cook lay on an emergency room gurney, holding a compress to his head. The lump on his temple bore a stark reminder of that unfortunate treadmill mishap. A physician…
Greg Schwem is a corporate comedian and syndicated humor columnist whose work appears weekly in the Chicago Tribune and the Huffington Post The personal trainer looked me up and down, mentally taking notes before deciding what my body could handle over…
Confusion briefly reigned in the publishing world last week when reports surfaced that Penthouse magazine, a purveyor of sex and nudity for more than 50 years, would cease its print edition. Or would it? Penthouse officials quickly backtracked, saying accounts…
The party was in full swing by the time my Uber driver pulled up to the non-descript Chicago supper club on West Kinzie Street, appropriately named Untitled. I shook off the sub-zero wind chill, eventually made it through the registration…
Funny comedian and top corporate comedian Greg Schwem requested a drone aircraft for Christmas and was severely disappointed
The National Retail Federation recently estimated that 2015 holiday gift card sales will reach nearly $26 billion. By my own calculations, that means the world’s 7.3 billion inhabitants will each have about $3.50 to spend on a gift of their…
Together, my wife, daughters and I hung the final ornament on the tree then stepped back to admire our handwork, a tradition that also includes reflecting on those long ago, seemingly simpler times. “Remember when we used to decorate Christmas…
While viewing a daily roundup of the country’s top trending news topics, I heard a California TV reporter utter what might possibly be the biggest oxymoron of the holiday season: “Sophisticated porch pirates.” Ever since Christmas enter the cyber age,…
There seems to be a growing army of online businesses convinced that I am neglecting my personal hygiene. But with the help of UPS and other package delivery services, my woes will soon be over. First it was Dollar Shave…
The pasta has suddenly turned inky in color and is chocked full of organic black beans; quinoa is ever present at my dinner table and every item in the pantry contains one or more of the following words: earthy, earthiness…
The helpful folks at Google are at it again, determined to automate every daily task so that mankind will one day wake up and immediately go back to bed upon realizing there is nothing for it to do. Having nearly…
Faster than you can say “dropped third strike,” the Chicago Cubs transformed themselves from World Series contenders to “rebuilders.” Or, baseball speak for, “we must get rid of a few guys.” I’m not privy to how many stacks of hundred-dollar…
During the cool fall months, my house is surrounded on all sides by “pumpkin farms” (a polite term for “cash cows”). Parents, admit it: You’ve taken your kids to one. The public pools were drained on Labor Day, yet you…
For most of my adult life I have been searching for that perfect verbal defense. A go-to excuse that, once uttered, abruptly ends the conversation, forcing all divergent parties into silence or, even better, agreement. I discovered it the night…
My 53rd birthday celebration nearly complete, I unwrapped the final package as my wife and daughters looked on. I had asked for only one gift and now there it sat, ready for deployment. The NutriBullet Pro. More than just a…