The men’s clothier that generously employed me during Christmas breaks throughout college was nondescript save for one feature: service. Family-owned and -operated since 1955, its two aisles housed the standard assortment of tailor-made suits, cashmere sweaters, neckwear and accoutrements perfect…
Mom and I were talking the other day about the common problems facing this country’s aging population: inactivity, loneliness, occasional bouts of depression. I sympathize, and wish I had a suggestion to solve the tribulations that, sadly, plague a good…
As a self-employed individual for over 30 years, I, Greg Schwem, have never been a victim of termination. Although, I admit, there have been times I’ve wanted to fire myself for offenses ranging from failure to turn off the coffee…
It’s printed in big bold letters on my airline ticket: PRIORITY BOARDING. I paid $75 extra for those words, but it will be worth it. Right? I’ll get on the plane before all these other passengers. By the time they…
Sometimes, a simple question is all it takes to achieve a dream. Brian McCauley is living proof. Legally blind since birth, the result of retinopathy of prematurity, the 22-year-old Tewksbury, Mass., resident recently lived out every rock and roll head…
I have decided my kids’ college educations, my retirement nest egg and my overall financial well-being may rest with Kylie Jenner. The youngest sibling of the Kardashian reality TV clan recently sent Snapchat’s stock plunging more than 7 percent — over…
This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune February 20, 2018 I always feel neglected when a recent poll or survey is cited in news reports. Never have I been asked to comment about events shaping, or about to shape,…
The Pentagon is reportedly discussing options for President Trump’s requested military parade, “options” being another word for “Maybe he’ll forget about the whole idea.” Like most of Trump’s ideas, this one is being met with opinions so diverse, a GPS…
This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune Feb. 6, 2018 It finally happened. Alex Trebek snapped. As a longtime Jeopardy fan, among the thousands of avid watchers convinced they could win fortunes on the show but too intimidated to apply as…
Corporate comedian Greg Schwem encounters a miniscule sized mattress and must choose between a comfortable night's sleep and marital bliss
This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune and on Medium January 23, 2018 A recent trip to what remains of my local shopping mall left me with a range of emotions, beginning with depression and ending on a euphoric high.…
This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune January 16, 2018 I’m old enough to remember when email began its ascent into mainstream communication, a phenomenon embraced by everyone who didn’t make their livelihood via the telephone industry or the…
This article originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune and on the Today Show website January 2, 2018 Thanks to retail giant Amazon, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service may want to ponder creating a new “endangered” list containing the following…
This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune Dec. 26, 2017 I have always taken great pride in my ability to avoid those enticing clickbait headlines at the bottom of my daily newsfeed. Perhaps that’s why I must plead ignorance when…
This column originally appeared in the Chicago Tribune December 19, 2017 I live with three women, which makes Christmas gift buying about as easy, and mystifying, as unclogging a toilet. My wife’s apparel sizes seem to alter daily, which is…