The Christmas wrapping, tissue paper, bows and gift bags lay in heaps on the living room floor as Schwem family members surveyed their gifts. My children, 21 and 16, were far removed from the days of Santa but still squealed in delight over their “grown-up” toys, including Apple wireless earbuds, Bluetooth speakers and, for my eldest, a beer mug she proudly stated would provide companionship during her final semester of college.
My wife looked at me lovingly, with one eye, as she admired the “Still Falling for You” necklace I had chosen for her. The other eye, unfortunately, stared daggers at me, for I had violated the “no appliance” rule by presenting her with an electric hot water kettle. I reminded her she received a diamond ring for our 25th wedding anniversary, just one month prior. That purchase, I said, entitled me to, at least, a one-year reprieve.
Meanwhile, numerous clothes boxes lay at my feet, full of the dress shirts, slacks, sweaters and other apparel items I had requested. My facial expressions bore my disappointment. My wife noticed.
“What’s the matter?” she asked. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Yes. And no.”
“Why the ‘no’?”
I broke the news as gently as I could. “It’s the colors,” I said. “Everything is gray, brown or black.”
“So?”
“I was hoping for something in Living Coral.”
“Excuse me?”
“Living Coral,” I said. “The Pantone color of the year.”
“What are you talking about?”
I brought her up to speed on Pantone, a New Jersey-based firm that works with industries making “color critical” decisions: think printing, paint and plastics. Past color of the year recipients have included Ultra Violet, Rose Quartz, Tangerine Tango and Radiant Orchid. I’m not sure if my current wardrobe contains any of those colors; suffice it to say, nobody has ever approached me and said, “I love that tangerine tango tie.”
“With consumers craving human interaction and social connection, the humanizing and heartwarming qualities displayed by the convivial Pantone Living Coral hit a responsive tone,” said Pantone Color Institute Executive Director Leatrice Eiseman in a statement, when the announcement was made on Dec. 6.
“Now you see why I’m disappointed,” I told my wife. “Human interaction and social connection are integral parts of my business, not to mention my personality. Without living coral, I may as well just lock myself in a closet.”
“I’m about to lock you in one myself,” she replied. “That sweater I bought you? It’s cashmere.”
“It’s not living coral,” I shot back.
“So return it,” she sighed. “And when you do, let me know. The electric kettle can go with you.”
“Hey, that kettle heats water faster than a microwave,” I said.
“But it’s so … drab. Do they have one in radiant orchid?”
I’ll admit, when it comes to fashion, color schemes have never been my forte. In college, I worked Christmas breaks at a high-end men’s clothier, a job that suited me about as much as working on a construction site. I panicked when customers would purchase a sport coat or dress shirt, then look at me and say, “Now, young man, pick me out a tie to go with it.”
The store carried hundreds, from some of the most exclusive clothing manufacturers. To me, they all just looked like a hodgepodge of stripes, dots and paisleys vying for attention on fabric.
“How about this one?” I’d say, never once thinking the color might actually be a Pantone color of the year and the customer should be honored I was presenting him or her with award-winning neckwear. Thirty some years later, I still shudder to venture outside in bright colors, for fear I have chosen a combination that is horribly mismatched. But, as I explained to my wife, I’m happy to be decked out in brilliantly hued attire, if it’s approved by a company like Pantone.
Another Christmas is in the books. This one was merry. It just wasn’t very bright.
