My wife and I often giddily discuss our plans to “start dating again” once our kids move out of the house and we officially become empty nesters. And, because we’ve been married 25 years, and those dates will involve each other, there will be no need to first swipe left or right.
Instead, we plan to leave the house and venture somewhere fun, interesting and affordable. Which is why I’m looking for date ideas in Wisconsin. Kansas. Missouri and South Dakota, we may be headed your way as well for some romance. My home state of Illinois will be seeing far less of us.
My decision is based on a study from financial news and opinion company 24/7 Wall Street, which recently measured the cost of an average date night in all 50 states, involving two restaurant dinners, two movie tickets and a liter of wine.
Once those costs were tabulated, other measures were tossed in, including state taxes and the average gas price. While Mississippi had the lowest combined price for the date components, at $96.52, Wisconsin was the overall winner for cheapskates looking to impress their significant others, after also factoring in the number of entertainment offerings. New York, New Jersey and Hawaii should see fewer couples strolling hand in hand through their states, as they had the very unromantic distinction of placing in the bottom three.
Obviously, the study is flawed for assuming a date includes a restaurant, a multiplex and alcohol. New Yorkers take heart; two subway tickets, some takeout Chinese, a candle, a blanket, a shared can of White Claw and a plot of grass in Central Park can easily be had for under $40. Unless one of you insists on bits of lobster or Kobe beef in your fried rice. And when did casual conversation and hand holding involve four eight-ounce glasses of wine? Yes, I Googled “how many glasses in a liter?”
If my wife and I consumed 16 ounces of wine each during our meal, chances are at least one of us would fall asleep mid-movie. Therefore, our dates consist of one or the other. And truthfully, I can’t remember the last movie we saw that didn’t first involve navigating to the “play” button on the Netflix home screen while we lounged in the family room. Venturing to an actual movie theatre can mean only one of two things:
The movie stars either Jennifer Anniston, Julia Roberts or Melissa McCarthy. (My wife’s criteria).
It’s over before 10 p.m. (My criteria).
Alcohol aside, dinners and movies do remain staples of courtship. Back in the summer of 1991, my first date with my future bride consisted of an Italian dinner at a restaurant I really couldn’t afford and, then, a stroll near Buckingham Fountain in Grant Park. Illinois residents, the latter is still free in case you’re looking for cheap date alternatives. Just don’t try to park nearby.
I believe our second date was a movie, probably starring Julia Roberts. The 24/7 Wall Street study convinced me it’s never too late to explore new forms of courtship. Which is why I’m so excited that Wisconsin, just across the state line from my Illinois domicile, is so affordable. The state is known for so many activities and events my wife and I have never experienced, including curling, ice fishing, sausage festivals and attire that includes wearing a wedge of cheese on one’s head.
Once we have exhausted that state’s fun, we should have plenty of retirement savings left over to venture to Kansas, known for, uh, wait I’ll think of it — a good college basketball team!
We can then stare at the Arch in St. Louis and Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota while laughing at those couples who find themselves penniless because they insisted on dating in New Jersey.
Meanwhile, we’ll have enough money to pay the Netflix bill.
